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Writer's pictureAndrew J Calvert

Have the tough conversation(s)

Advice from a manager early in my career I ignored but happily remembered and implemented "Have the tough conversation"


It might be tough to say what you have to say and it might be tough to hear the reaction of the person your speaking with. YET experience tells me that more often than not having the tough conversation is better than living with saying nothing.


Career? Ask for the job/promotion/project it might be tough, but if the answer is "no" you can ask, "what do I need to get me there?" (feedforward) and if yes - you just got it!


Relationships? Be explicit about what you want (or that you don't know what you want) use the conversation fo you and them to get clarity.


Colleagues? Underperformance or toxic behaviours can demotivate and push you to a place you don't want to be (covering for them or putting up with bad behaviour) so say something. or put up with it. Which sounds better right now?


If the conversation is tough because it is hard to do you can use a structure like SBID to help plan the discussion. If you worry about the reaction of the other person, planning again is your ally here: plan the place, time and words you will use, plan the examples you will share and your exit strategy if things go wrong. (If you fail to plan you plan to fail)

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