I did a year long series of blog posts on this topic. There were listening modules in selling programs, negotiation classes, coach training, feedback and even presentation skills. It is such a fundamental skill and yet so few of us get formal training. So here is a summary.
Remove distractions: put your phone away try not to have to listen to someone in a crowded or noisy environment. Check your own inner state and set your intention to listen
Just listen, don't think about what your next question is going to be, or what you're going to say next
Look at the person you are listening too: make eye contact, and try to notice their body language - is it open, closed? And does it or their facial expressions match what they are saying?
Pay attention for facts and information - get the flow of what they are telling you clear (you might need to ask clarifying questions, or playback to them what you just heard)
Try to spot feelings and emotions in what they way and how they say it. What are the metaphors used? What do they tell you about their emotions?
Listen for assumptions: these are tell tales to the values and beliefs the person holds When they are outraged or inspired by something that's a hint there is a value being honored or trampled
What would you add to this list?
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