Behind almost every complaint is a desire for improvement
A complaint about rudeness uncovers a need for respect. A complaint about high prices underlies a desire for greater value for money
So when someone complains to you, instead of tuning them out, try asking them - "What's the ask here? What would you like to be different? What's driving that ask?"
Work with them to articulate what they want to be different -and why they want it to be different
When I first learned this approach it radically changed the way leaders listened to the women and men on the front line, the phrase, "I have a request" would change the dialog in a meeting - often going from past oriented problem focus to a positive, solution based future focus.
So next time you start to complain, can you phrase it as a request?
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