What Benjy Taught Me About Coaching: Listening Beyond Words and Matching Energy

Benjy, my loyal four-legged companion, has been one of my most unexpected yet profound teachers.

While our conversations are limited to enthusiastic barks, soulful gazes, and a well-timed nuzzle, Benjy has taught me more about listening, patience, and energy than I ever imagined.

Watching him react to words, moods, and even the pauses in my tone, I realized that he listens deeply, not just to what I say, but to what I feel and how I show up.

In many ways, coaching mirrors these same principles: it’s about tuning into what’s said, what’s unspoken, and the energy behind every interaction.

Here’s what Benjy has taught me about the art of coaching

• Patience and Timing – Dogs have their own sense of timing. They know when they want attention or play, and sometimes they’ll wait patiently for the right moment. As a coach, timing shows up by knowing when to intervene, when to hold the silence silence, and when to gently prompt the client.

• Acceptance without Judgment – Benjy accepts all visitors unconditionally, sensing when we need support but without judgment. He can sense a dog lover from someone afraid of dogs, and acts accordingly. As a coach its crucial to hold a non-judgmental space for clients, allowing them to express themselves freely without fear of criticism. That psychological safety creates the chance for them to explore more deeply

• Matching Energy - Matching energy is something Benjy does instinctively, whether I’m ready to play, unwind, or need a quiet moment, he meets me there without question. In coaching, matching a client’s energy creates a bond. It’s about tuning into their pace, tone, and emotions, and responding in a way that honors their current state. When a client brings enthusiasm, meeting them with equal energy can amplify their excitement; when they’re contemplative, a calm, reflective presence invites deeper exploration. Just like Benjy senses the right moment to engage or simply sit beside me, matching energy in coaching builds trust and fosters authentic, meaningful dialogue.

• Resilience and Letting Go – Benjy is great at shaking off disappointment or confusion. When he doesn’t get that tasty piece of cheese of a bite of burger treat he hoped for, he moves on rather than dwelling on it. In my coaching this shows up as helping clients develop resilience and the ability to let go when things don’t go as planned.

• Simplicity and Presence – Benjy is a master of presence, living in the now rather than fixating on the past or future. Presence to coaching is about being fully engaged, listening deeply, and helping clients focus on the here and now to unlock new insights. Early on I realized that taking notes impacted my presence, so I stopped

• Celebrating Small Wins – Benjy LOVES to celebrate - every small medium or large victory, whether it’s a successful fetch or a belly rub. As a coach this presents as encouraging clients to acknowledge and celebrate their own small wins or even "just" forward momentum, reinforcing positive change.

• Consistency and Boundaries – He won't admit it but he thrives on consistent routines and clear boundaries. I find that working with the client to define those boundaries - during the chemistry meeting, in each session as we go, helps create a consistency that benefits the client and myself

Benjy is a freelance counsellor and security specialist. Connect with him here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/benjy-dog-2775021b4/