Are you looking?

Stop Searching, Start Seeing

I was walking in bustling Wan chai when I saw this, a metal shutter, the shop not yet open for the day, with an unexpected mural sprayed across it. Three stylized figures. Wings, halos, motion. Not on a gallery wall. Not framed in gold. Just a moment of grace, hiding in plain sight.

And I stood there thinking: How often do we walk past what’s most meaningful because it doesn’t look the way we expected it to?

🎭 What You Miss When You Look for the Obvious

Our brains are wired for efficiency. According to cognitive load theory, we filter out information that doesn’t match what we expect to see. This is great when scanning for danger… not so great when trying to spot beauty, talent, or insight in unusual places.

This bias has a name: Inattentional blindness, the tendency to miss what we’re not looking for.

We look for confidence, and miss quiet wisdom. We look for leadership, and overlook empathy. We chase clarity, and undervalue uncertainty.

Coaches see this all the time. A coachee may dismiss a moment of intuition, a forgotten dream, or a mistake, when that might be the very door they need to open.

🪞 Reflection: What’s Hiding in Your Line of Sight?

If you paused right now, where might you find something extraordinary?

• In a conversation you keep replaying?

• In a skill you’ve always downplayed?

• In the advice you keep giving others but not living yourself?

Extraordinary doesn’t always announce itself. Sometimes it sits quietly, in the margins, in the mess, or, like this mural, on a closed door.

🛠️ How To: Spot the Extraordinary in the Everyday

Here are 3 reflection techniques (rooted in behavioral science) to train your eyes and mind to notice more:

1. Change the Frame

Ask: “If this was important, what would it be telling me?”

This reframe shifts your attention from autopilot to curiosity, a technique drawn from cognitive reframing practices in CBT and coaching.

Try it with: awkward feedback, forgotten memories, weird dreams, gut feelings.

2. Practice Micro-Noticing

At the end of your day, write down:

• One thing that surprised you

• One thing you nearly missed

• One thing you judged too quickly

This builds observational flexibility, a key component of mindful attention.

3. Use the “Reverse Spotlight” Prompt

Instead of asking, “What am I proud of?” Ask: “What part of me have I ignored that deserves light?”

This taps into latent strengths, underused talents and values that behavioral scientists link to long-term well-being and flow states.

🧩

If you’re looking for meaning, insight, creativity, or change… try looking sideways.

Not just where the light is brightest, but where the shutter is closed, the edges are rough, or the frame is cracked.

Some of the most extraordinary things are hiding where you least expect to find them.

The question is: Will you slow down long enough to notice?