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Writer's pictureAndrew J Calvert

Conversation. Two's company five's a crowd?

I recently read Robin Dunbar's book Friends and in among the many pearls of data backed insight on conversation, connection and communication is the statement that the ideal number of people for a conversation is.... four or fewer


If there are five or more people in a group, the conversation splits into groups of or someone drops out and just listens


Look for yourself, next time you're out in a group or more than 4 observe how the group fragments in to smaller divisions to have a conversation


And before you ask, yes I have seen groups of eight, nine or ten people in discussion - but that is much more one person "holding court" lecturing and the others listening (they might be a polite group and pass the lecturing lead from person to person) but that isn't a conversation


Building from the assumption that the best conversations have two, three or four people in them, think about effective meetings. Meetings should not be to share information (that can be done in an email, a file etc.) - meetings are to meet and agree (on something, an action a task etc.) so a conversation is strongly indicated


Break out sessions in workshops? keep them to four or fewer to make sure everyone has chance to speak and be heard


So if you get the number right, what else do you need to have a good conversation?

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