When Goals Stall

What 50 Coaches Taught Me About Motivation, Meaning, and Momentum

During International Coaching Week, I had the pleasure of leading a session with 50 thoughtful, wise, and deeply reflective coaches at EZRA. Our focus? The science of goal setting and why goals so often get stuck.

We didn’t start with SMART goals. We started with real life.

Overwhelm. Competing priorities. Setbacks. Unclear goals. Irrelevant goals. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Time scarcity. Energy depletion. And the big one: misalignment between goals and meaning.

We asked four big questions. Here’s what surfaced, and what it might mean for your own coaching practice.

1. What Gets in the Way of Achieving Goals?

The list was long, and telling:

• Time, or rather, the feeling that there’s never enough of it

• Too many goals, and too little clarity

• Fear, of failure, of judgment, of the unknown

• Setbacks, or the story we tell ourselves about them

• Priorities shifting, especially when roles or bosses change

• Lack of emotional connection to the goal

• Unclear success criteria, or goals that were simply too big

One coach put it beautifully:

“Sometimes not achieving a goal is a good failure—because it opens the door to reflection on what really matters.”

This resonated strongly. So often, the problem isn’t effort. It’s misalignment. Or exhaustion. Or a quiet whisper of doubt that the goal isn’t really ours.

2. When Goal Conversations Stall, What Helps?

Many of us have been in that moment, where a client looks at the goal and says, “I just don’t know.” Or worse: “I don’t care anymore.” The answers from this group were both practical and profound:

• Break it down: “Eat the elephant one bite at a time.”

• Use visualization to reconnect with possibility

• Pause and listen. Meet the client where they are

• Explore what they can and cannot control

• Reconnect to values. Ask why this matters

• Consider organizational alignment and personal passion

• Acknowledge fear, resistance, or discomfort

• Normalize change of goal as part of the journey

One participant shared the Serenity Prayer (minus the theological framing) as a reminder:

“Accept what you can’t change. Change what you can. And develop the wisdom to know the difference.”

Another reframed goal timelines as learning loops, encouraging clients to experiment with urgency and self-awareness rather than chasing arbitrary deadlines.

3. How Do You Explore Motivation and Meaning?

This question opened the richest part of the conversation.

We moved past performance metrics and into purpose. Past “what are you trying to achieve” into “who are you becoming?”

Some of the most powerful questions:

• What matters to you about this?

• Why this goal and not another?

• What values does this support?

• Who will you be when this is achieved?

• What’s the emotional weight of this goal, for better or worse?

We also explored metaphors, imagery, and tactile reminders, like a client who kept a literal weight on his desk to represent the burden of a delayed goal.

And we discussed the iceberg model: surface-level goals sitting atop deeper currents of belief, identity, and emotion.

4. Takeaways: Slow Down, Go Deeper, Use the Two Dials

If there was a single theme from the room, it was this: Spend more time exploring what matters.

Coaches shared a desire to:

• Slow down at the start of a coaching engagement

• Explore purpose before setting targets

• Spend more time visualizing desired futures

• Connect goals explicitly to values and emotions

• Use frameworks that encourage reflection before planning

And one tool stood out.

The Two Dials: A Simple Frame with Depth

Inspired by the model shared during the session, the “Two Dials” help clients explore two essential dimensions of any goal:

1. Challenge

• What would stretch me just outside my comfort zone?

• Could I shorten the timeframe to create urgency?

• Are my success measures ambitious enough?

2. Meaning

• How can this goal better align with what energizes me?

• Are there outcomes that would feel more satisfying?

• Do I need to adjust the timeframe so I stay connected to why this matters?

These two dials, Challenge and Meaning, invite reflection, calibration, and renewed energy. Too much challenge and not enough meaning leads to burnout. Too much meaning with no challenge? Stagnation.

The sweet spot? A goal that stretches and inspires.

Final Thought: Curiosity is the Key

When goals stall, it’s tempting to push harder. But sometimes the wiser move is to pause. To ask. To listen.

Curiosity unlocks clarity. Meaning fuels momentum. And sometimes, the bravest coaching move is to help someone let go of a goal that no longer fits.

So here’s a question to take into your next session:

What would make this goal feel more like yours and less like a task to complete?