Assuming Positive Intent: A Leadership Superpower Hidden in Plain Sight

Less judgment. More understanding. Better outcomes.

We've all done it. The delayed reply. The sharp tone. The offhand remark in a meeting that sets off alarm bells. And before we know it, our brain fills in the blanks with the worst-case scenario.

And here’s the thing: Those blanks? They’re usually more about us than the other person.

Assuming Positive Intent (API) is a deceptively simple practice with transformative potential. It’s not about blind optimism. It’s about a strategic mindset shift that rewires your reactions, improves relationships, and leads to better collaboration.

Let’s unpack what it is, why it works, and how to build it into your daily leadership or coaching practice.

What Is Assuming Positive Intent?

Assuming Positive Intent means choosing to believe that others’ actions, while possibly flawed, come from a place of good intent, not malice. It’s the opposite of the "fundamental attribution error", a cognitive bias where we attribute others' mistakes to character, but our own to circumstance.

It doesn’t mean ignoring harm. It means starting from curiosity, not accusation.

Why It Works: Neuroscience + Behavioral Science

• Negativity Bias: Our brains are wired to detect threats more than rewards. API helps override this default, especially in ambiguous situations.

• Amygdala Hijack: When we feel slighted, our amygdala activates. API gives the prefrontal cortex a chance to regain control, restoring rational thinking.

• Social Contagion: Positive assumptions spread. Teams led with API show higher trust, more honest feedback, and better resilience under pressure.

• Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: When we assume positive intent, we treat others in ways that often invite better behavior from them.

How-To: Practical Techniques to Assume Positive Intent

1. Start with “What else might be true?”

Before you judge, reframe:

• What stress might they be under?

• Could I be misunderstanding tone or context?

• Have I ever done something similar and meant no harm?

2. Use the 3-Breath Pause

Feel triggered? Take three slow breaths. Let your nervous system downshift. Ask: “Is this a fact or a story I’m telling myself?”

3. Clarify, Don’t Conclude

Instead of saying “You’re not listening,” try: “I noticed you looked away, can I check if I lost you there?” Make your meaning clear and invite theirs.

4. Default to Curiosity

Use coaching-style questions even in tense moments:

• “Can you walk me through what happened from your side?”

• “What was your intent in saying that?” These questions preserve dignity while seeking truth.

5. Audit Your Assumptions

At the end of a hard day, ask yourself: Which assumptions helped me today? Which got in my way? Self-awareness sharpens over time.

What It’s Not

API isn’t about tolerating poor performance or avoiding conflict. It’s about starting from a generous hypothesis, then taking clear, courageous action.

For Leaders and Coaches Alike

In leadership, API creates a climate of trust. In coaching, it’s foundational to presence and partnership. And in life? It just makes things a little lighter.

So the next time you’re caught in a mental loop about someone’s behavior, try this: Pause. Ask yourself, “What would change if I assumed they meant well?” You might just find a better question. A better conversation. And a better outcome.